When You’ve Just Got To Go!

Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance.

Never has a more apt phrase entered the minds of us outdoor chaps when nature calls.

Picture the scene: You’re nicely settled into your tent at a fantastic location. It’s been a great day on the hill but, just as you lay your weary head down for that well-earned rest, it dawns upon you… Damn, I need a wee!

That sinking feeling hits home, shortly followed by the realisation that you now face the eternal conundrum: do I brave the weather (chance are, it’s cold and/or wet outside) or do I hope for the best and hold it in until morning?

We’ve all been there, right? So what do you do?

For the benefit of my female readers, it’s worth saying at this point that, with a little lateral thinking, what follows can be adapted to suit your own specific requirements.

Here’s my top tip: Before heading off on your trip, pop into your favourite outdoors specialist (or online retailer) and purchase a lightweight, plastic drinks bottle with a wide-top opening.

What you should be looking for is one with an O-ring seal set within a screw-top lid, firmly attached to a durable (knock-resistant) bottle. A one-litre capacity vessel should do the trick, offering a nice balance between the volume required for about two ‘visits’ and an overall compact size.

Here’s the really important bit: Label this bottle up very clearly and make sure it’s positioned well away from food/water/cooking/clothing supplies!

Relieving yourself in the early hours of the morning, through bleary eyes, is challenge enough; don’t give yourself any nasty surprises!

All joking aside, the aim of packing a designated pee bottle in your bag is to add comfort to your camping experiece. It’s no fun having to remove yourself from a cosy sleeping bag in order to head out into the freezing darkness. Much better to (carefully) do what you need to do in the comfort of your shelter and dispose of the offending fluid at a more reasonable time of day.

The aforementioned bottles can be picked up for relatively little money and are cheap enough to replace as and when you feel the need.

To add further value, the bottle I currently use (see picture above) was bought at a retailer who offers ‘But 1, Get 1 Free’. If the underlying incentive wasn’t enough, then this surely swwetens the deal just that little bit more?!

Footnote: The more astute amongst you will have noticed that I haven’t covered the topic of that ‘other’ type of toilet requirement we all face. Suffice it to say, I wouldn’t recommend trying to contain it in a bottle such as the one described above when in such confined spaces as tents and shelters if at all possible! In this case, I’m afraid you have two choices – hold it in or brave the elements. Sorry!